You may well think of psychopaths as serial killers or master criminals, but the truth is that approximately 1% of adults in the general population actually meet the suggested criteria. While the term “psychopath” is contentious in modern psychology, there is a broad consensus that it roughly describes one type of individual who suffers from an antisocial personality disorder. In particular, you can think of psychopaths as people who fail to form genuine emotional attachments, instead of simulating these attachments with a view to exploiting others for personal gain.
If something doesn’t feel quite right about your relationship, consider the following nine key signs that your partner may be a Signs Of Psychopath.
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1. They encouraged a whirlwind romance
According to detailed surveys completed by a wide range of people who have survived romantic encounters with psychopaths, many of their relationships began with high levels of excitement and quick commitment. Your partner may have highlighted all of your “amazing” compatibilities, but was really just mirroring you in order to create this sense of kinship. You probably felt incredibly special and believed this person could be your soulmate.
2. They make you feel sorry for them
You may have gradually found yourself doing more and more things that make you feel overburdened or overwhelmed because your partner uses sob stories to manipulate you into acting as they want. For example, this person might need large loans “because their last spouse left with all their money” and will take great pains to remind you of just how nurturing and fantastic you are in comparison to that previous partner.
3. It seems like they’re incredibly popular
In order to keep you hooked and malleable, a psychopathic partner will generate endless situations that suggest they’re receiving romantic interest from other people. In reality, they might be the ones flirting or restarting contact with exes, but their comments are often so ambiguous that it’s hard to know whether you’re being paranoid.
4. It’s hard to keep their attention
There’s typically a harsh contrast between a psychopath’s “courting” behavior and how they act once they have secured your commitment. You may feel like they now find you boring, and wonder if you simply irritate them when you try to initiate the long conversations or sex sessions they used to seem to love. However, as you’ll see, they still seem to thirst for attention more generally—just not from you anymore. In short, you may feel like more of an obligation than a lover.
5. They’re fantastic at minimizing risk to themselves
Unlike sociopaths—who can be impulsive and keen to take risks (especially when angered)—psychopaths take carefully calculated risks that are designed to protect themselves. So, you may notice them expertly encouraging you or their other friends to do things that are financially or legally dangerous. This allows the psychopath to sit back and enjoy the fruits of those labors.
6. They make you question reality
Like many emotionally abusive people, psychopaths will deny wrongdoing and rewrite arguments or other significant events in ways that make you question the reliability of your own perceptions. You may be called over-sensitive, accused of lacking humor or even dubbed crazy.
7. They blame you for emotions they evoke
On a related note, these partners will frequently call you out for feeling the way they have deliberated tried to make you feel. For example, the above flirtations with other people will earn you a label of “jealous and needy” if you mention any concerns, and they may even use these unfair assessments to attract more attention from others who feel sorry for the psychopath.
8. They’re talented liars
Although you are bound to notice a psychopathic partner’s talent for lying when it comes to arguing about the relationship, you may also spot it elsewhere. In the early days of dating, you might have laughed at how quickly your partner generated a convincing excuse for taking the day off work to stay in bed with you or noted that they’re the best at poker bluffs. However charming or intriguing this talent first appears, it will quickly be turned against you.
9. They have a range of “masks”
Finally, there is often a sense that the psychopath’s real personality is elusive or non-existent. You might feel like you’re seeing one person at home, another when your partner is around your family, and a third in social situations. While everyone adapts their way of presenting depending on the company, you shouldn’t feel like your partner has completely transformed when the context changes.
If your partner’s behavior is leaving you feeling anxious, miserable and confused, consider seeing a therapist to discuss your situation. Anyone who can help you hold onto the facts about your relationship will help you begin the challenging process of pulling away from your partner’s conscience-free attempts to manipulate.