We’ve all read the – articles claiming to help and support women while simultaneously telling them they need to change everything about themselves to land a hot date. It’s not uncommon to read that you need to lose some weight, stop being bossy or messy, that you’re moving too fast (or too slow), that you have to stop texting so frequently, and that you should probably stop using Facebook so much.
And let’s not forget the most frustrating one out there: “you’ll find love when you stop looking for it.”
All of this impossible-to-follow advice is so abundant and so annoying that we’ve decided to put together the reasons why you’re still single that don’t involve changing your wonderful self. Your future partner wants you just as you are!
1. You’re not spending time on the things you love
It’s not a weird coincidence that many happy couples meet while they’re doing the things they love. You instantly have something huge in common and an excuse to see each other on a weekly basis. Love sports? Join a local team. Drama? Take a course or sign up for a play. Travel? Arrange a solo trip or take a language class.
2. You’re following ridiculous dating rules
You know the ones – “don’t get involved with co-workers” or “flatmates are off-limits.” There are plenty of dating no-nos that don’t really have any reason to exist. Sure, it might be awkward around the office for a little while if you date a co-worker and it doesn’t work out. But is this worth turning down a potentially great love? Ditch these rules and ask your flatmate, sexy co-worker, or brother’s friend on a date.
3. You’re in a dead-end routine
Sleep. Work. Eat. Repeat. Sound familiar? We all get trapped in routines that don’t allow for meeting good looking strangers. If you’re frequenting the same bars, hanging with the same people, and going to the same places all the time, it may be time to mix things up. Suggest new locations for your social activities, explore an unfamiliar area in your city, or see point one and sign up for something you enjoy.
4. You waste too much time on online dating
There’s no denying that online dating can be a great way to meet people. But how long do you spend texting back and forth on Tinder before meeting in person? This is the time that you could be using to move on to the next candidate or get out and about in new locations. It’s always good to feel comfortable before meeting up with someone from cyberspace, but if you’ve been chatting for weeks without a meetup, they’re probably just a waste of time.
5. You’re too concerned with what other people think
Are you worried that your friends might think your new love potential is too nerdy? Or maybe that your parents won’t approve of their job? You need to stop this. If you like them, that’s all that matters. If they’re the right person for you they’ll end up winning over your family and friends eventually, so don’t bail before discovering if you’ve found the one.
6. You think you need to ‘fix’ yourself before finding the one
This is absolutely not true and possibly the most damaging dating ‘advice’ out there. Ignore all advice telling you that you need to lose weight, be less neurotic, change your hair, etc, etc. The right person for you will not care about this stuff and will be in love with the real you. If you want to improve yourself, do it because you genuinely want to, not because you think it may increase your chances of meeting someone.
7. You want to be still single
If you love living alone, making major decisions without consulting others, traveling solo, and generally going about your day as a still single lady, it sounds like you don’t even want a relationship right now! Don’t get into something you don’t want just because your Facebook newsfeed is stuffed with wedding photos and baby announcements. Enjoy the fun and spontaneity that a single life can offer.