Why Am I So Shy?


People may wonder, “Why am I so shy?” If they have avoided social gatherings for the 100th time, this question could be a concern. The same question might be asked by someone who runs away from crowds of people.

A shy artist might be wondering the same thing as a person who is hesitant to take the stage. Millions of people ask themselves every day, “Why am I so shy?” It is common for shyness to be a problem. No one should feel isolated or alone.

Shyness is an uncomfortable feeling that occurs within some people in the world. It occurs for a wide variety of reasons, and it usually begins at some time during childhood. Certain circumstances can cause shyness to occur later in life.

Currently, approximately 40 percent of the people in the world suffer from some level of shyness. Shyness can be mildly unsettling, or it can be so severe that a person will not leave their home to engage in conversation or social activities with other people. Shyness could be a character flaw, or it could be a full-blown mental disease.

Why Am I So Shy

How Does Shyness Develop?

Shyness develops in some children during their early childhood stages. Children who spend a great deal of time attached to their parents may grow up to develop shyness. Parents who do not spend much time participating in social events may contribute to their growing children’s shyness.

Shyness can also develop as a symptom of child neglect or abuse. Such is not always the case, but children who suffer from emotional or verbal abuse from their parents are more likely to develop shyness than other children are.

Shyness can occur in a child who has a shy parent. The parent does not mean to spread the condition to the child, but the child sees their mother avoiding people. Children learn most of their behaviors from their parents, so some cases develop in this manner.

Parents who have cold and unaffectionate demeanors can cause their children to become shy. Every child needs love, attention, and affection, and a child that grows up without such things will avoid people. Even when such a person does interact with other people, they will most likely have a distant and cold demeanor.

Shyness can occur in a teen who is a victim of bullying. Bullies often say words and take actions that harm the victim’s psyche. Such a person may call another child ugly, fat, stupid, and so forth.

An old saying states that when a person hears something enough times, they will start to believe it. A bullied person may come to believe the things that a bully tells them. This person may feel unworthy of other people’s friendship and fraternization.

Shyness can develop within a person because of a single embarrassing or humiliating incident, and it can occur because of a series of such incidents. For example, a person who slips and falls in front of their peers may become traumatized if everyone laughs.

The individual may remember that humiliating incident for the rest of their life, and it can cause crippling shyness. The level of shyness that develops because of such an incident depends greatly on the person’s sensitivity level. Some people are more fragile than other people are.

Shyness manifests in certain mental disorders, and specialists may refer to it as anxiety, social anxiety, or social phobia. The shyness that stems from mental illness is more severe than the average case of shyness is.

A person who suffers from anxiety may never leave their home because of the crippling fear of judgment and ridicule from other people. Such a person may live their life as a recluse or hermit. They may also work a job that allows complete solitude.

Persons with depressive disorders may appear to be shy. Depression often causes people to become introverted during the episode. An introverted person does not participate in social activities, and such a person may prefer not to talk on the phone or communicate with people via email.

Symptoms of Shyness

Many symptoms occur in people who suffer from shyness. One of the most common symptoms of shyness is avoidance. Such people will walk in the other direction when they see groups of people approaching. Shy people will make excuses to get out of school events, holiday gatherings, or work parties.

Shy people may back out of dates a few days after they arrange them. Additionally, shy people are extremely quiet. Such people may manage to exist without anyone ever hearing their existence. People often have to ask them to repeat themselves when they speak, and their voices may become lower each time they repeat a sentence.

Lack of eye contact is another symptom that a shy person may exhibit. Shy people are often afraid to connect with other people’s souls.

The physical symptoms of shyness include trembling, sweating, rapid heartbeat, dry mouth, nausea, blushing, muscle tightness, and an extreme urge to flee a scene. Some shy people may also become irritated if someone forces them into a situation that makes them uncomfortable.

A shy person has a multitude of psychological symptoms. Embarrassment and worry often plague a shy person. A shy person may constantly have fearful thoughts about situations if they engage in social activities. A shy person may suffer from depression because of how the shyness prevents them from doing normal things.

Helping Shy People or Helping Yourself

A person should always take steps to help another person who may be asking, “Why am I so shy?” Shyness has deep roots. Therefore, the first step in recovering from such is speaking with a specialist.

Counselors, psychiatrists, and psychologists can help a shy person to gain self-esteem and confidence. The road to recovery may be slow, and it could take years to get to the root of the problem.

Once the person discovers the root, the specialist can develop a viable cure. Most specialists will want to take the behavioral therapy route because the person needs to be taught reprogramming to fix the issue. Fear is something that a therapist can help a person to overcome by training that person to develop coping mechanisms.

One example of a technique that a specialist may use is exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a procedure that places a person in an uncomfortable position until they become desensitized.

Persons who have shyness because of mental illness may need medications to balance the chemicals in their brains. Chemical imbalance is a popular theory for anxiety disorders. Scientists have proven that some medications, such as benzodiazepines and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, may relieve anxiety and social anxiety symptoms.

With a supportive doctor and the right medications, a shy person can develop the stability and strength to live a normal life. The person can live a happy life, and they may even become the life of the party.

I'm Johan, a Freelance Content Creator & Content Writer from Bath, helping brands and businesses connect with their ideal clients.

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