So you’ve taken the plunge and moved in with your significant other, ready to enjoy a life of domestic bliss with the person you love. But what happens when their seemingly innocent habits begin to get on your nerves, and the two of you start to bicker a lot more than you used to?
Don’t worry, just because living together isn’t as easy as you thought it would be, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is headed for trouble. Every couple experiences a period of adjustment – it’s how they react to that adjustment that will determine whether they stay strong or slowly move apart.
Here are some simple tips that can make that adjustment period a lot smoother:
1. Don’t sacrifice your need for alone time
The most important thing to keep in mind when you move in with someone is not to forget about your own needs, particularly your need to get some alone time. If you don’t put effort into making time for yourself, then you will slowly begin to resent your partner simply for being present in the home that the two of you agreed to share!
Either carve out your own, personal space, or find some time to go for walks, hit the gym, sit in a coffee shop, or any other activity that gets you out of the house. That way, you can be much more present and there for your partner when the two of you are together.
2. Be willing to sacrifice some of your wants
Relationships often require compromise, particularly when two people want to successfully live together. You may need to adjust some of your habits if you are now going to make space for another person in your life. Perhaps you’ll have to give up some of your television watching, stop blasting loud music, or start keeping things tidier than you’re used to. It’s not bad to want to be able to do things at your own whim and your own schedule, but it is also a sign that you may not be ready to live with somebody else.
3. Keep the lines of communication open
Another key to a successful relationship is communication, and, once again, this is also the key to successfully living with your partner. You should never bury feelings or issues deep down, as they will only fester and eventually come to the surface anyway. Talk to your partner about any problems you might have the moment they come up, and encourage them to do the same.
4. Sort out your chores and keep up your end of the work
Sorting out the chores isn’t really the most glamorous part of moving in with your significant other, but it needs to be done if you want to avoid many unnecessary spats. Worry less about dealing with everything out 50/50, and more about who has the time and energy to do what. For example, one person may like to do the laundry while the other might want to fold.
You should also make sure that you keep up your end of the work before criticizing how much and how well your partner is doing. We, humans, love to overestimate our own efforts and underestimate the efforts of others.
5. Don’t forget about romance!
Chores might not be very romantic, but that doesn’t mean that romance is out the window the moment you move in together. You should still strive to go out for a special evening from time to time, surprise each other with small gifts, and continue to do the things that made your relationship exciting before. Don’t allow yourself to get complacent and take your partner for granted just because you see them every day now.