Children are complex; there is no way to deny that. They can be delightful at times, and they can be truly infuriating. The key is knowing what type of discipline is appropriate and what works. Through the ages, spanking children has been the old way to get a child to do what you want.
Though this can be seen as brutal, it can also be effective to a certain extent. Though many people denounce spanking children as brutish, noneffective, and harsh, there are still some who approve of it and believe that it does just what it needs to. It is helpful to know all about it before making a snap judgment. Seriously, is spanking child abuse?
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Is Spanking Child Abuse: What Is Spanking?
The first step is to understand what spanking is actual. This does not mean using anything other than your hand, but rather, using your hand to spank your child. Though some people consider using a switch or paddle as spanking, traditionally, spanking used only the hand to administer discipline.
So, for starters, someone working on using spanking as a means of disciplining their child will use their hand to cause minimal pain to that the child will associate pain with the undesirable action. This is effective in some ways if the parent knows how to spank a child without being too forceful and without causing pain and permanent damage.
Spanking children is not something that you should do on an everyday basis, and though some people claim spanking every day builds character, it can often cause more issues than good. For the most part, a child who is quick to learn will stop doing the action and work to do whatever they can not get spanked again.
This means that you can often spank a child once or twice, and they will not get spanked again. However, in other cases, some very willful children will do whatever they want no matter the consequences. In this type of case, spanking does nothing to make these children behave.
Is Spanking Child Abuse?
There are two schools of thought in this regard. For some, spanking is abuse, even if it is something as simple as a smack on the leg when the child misbehaves. Then some feel that spanking is a necessary evil in raising a child that does what they are told.
Those who believe that spanking children is wrong altogether often employ different methods and discipline techniques. This type of parent will often do things like time out, taking away privileges or toys, or even grounding rather than using corporal or physical punishment to discourage a behavior.
Though this type of parent is often very vocal about their beliefs, no actual studies have been done to prove that either method is best. It does come down to the child. In most cases, for those that are not a fan of spanking, other methods keep the child from doing what they are not supposed to do. For those who do not use physical punishment as a consequence for kids, it is often necessary to ensure that your child knows what to and what not to do for them to stay safe. This may not be a real issue when it comes to the child and how they behave.
There is a method to spanking kids for those who agree that spanking children is necessary. Children are willful; that is how they are, no matter what. It may seem like they will do everything you want them to do one moment, and then they may turn around and go against what you say, which makes spanking a spur-of-the-moment type of punishment. Unfortunately, no clear-cut book or paper tells you how to punish a child; you have to know your child and how they respond to certain behaviors.
How to Make Kids Listen
One of the main reasons children get spanked is that they do not listen. This makes parents very irritable and often leads to spur-of-the-moment punishment like spanking. Though it may seem like spanking is the best way to get their attention, other methods do not require you to touch your child. For starters, you should take the time to think about your child.
Are they one that listens best when you speak softly, when you offer praise, or when you offer a reward? Are they a child that does not listen unless they want to? How often do they do what they want even when you tell them not to? Any discipline needs to be based on the actual child rather than the methods touted as tried and true.
Something that works wonders for one family may do absolutely nothing for another, so you should take the time to think about your child and how they respond to different methods of punishment. Unfortunately, tons of people automatically assume that spanking child abuse is the thing that everyone employs when they have run out of ideas.
In most cases, by the time your child is a year old, you have been through just about every issue you could contend with, and you are likely to have seen every instance that you could ever learn to handle. That being said, you have likely seen your child do something that needed discipline.
You can often learn how to properly discipline your child by watching how they respond to the different punishments you go with. One sure-fire way to make your child listen is to take the time to show them the respect that you want and listen to them.
Many children want to be heard, and taking the time to listen to them is one way to make sure that they listen to you. Though they are children, they also deserve the respect you are requesting from them. Listening to your child is one way to teach good listening habits and good respect habits, which makes for a child that is much easier to deal with.
How to Punish a Child
The main thing that most parents need to learn is to punish their children effectively. That being said, different punishments work best with different children. One way to think about it is in age groups.
With more minor children, from about age 1-3, a light smack on the leg will work well because it is an immediate punishment for the unwanted behavior. Because this group of children cannot talk, you cannot reason with them and explain why they should not do something. Time out does not work well with this group either because they do not understand having to stay put.
For children from about age 4 to 7, time out works well. This works best with this age group because you can tell them why they are being punished and what they are being punished for.
This is also a great way to punish a child of this age because you can teach them values. For children from ages 8 to 12, taking away privileges works well. Again, this works with this age group because they are just starting to have genuine interests, and they will have things that they like to do when they are home. There are plenty of punishments for kids, and spanking your child and spanking discipline may be the only solution for some.
For children aged 13-18, grounding is always the best choice. This is the teenage years when parents start to be lame, and they want to spend time with friends and do after-school activities. Taking away their freedom is the worst thing you can do by their standards, and the best thing you can do is make them behave quickly and listen to what you are saying.
As mentioned before, a child who has been shown respect at a young age will be far more likely to be respectful to parents. Thing like counting to ten and saying no repeatedly with no real action is not practical. It is not impossible to teach your child without using many disciplines; you have to know how to work.