Arranged marriages have easily caused quite a lot of controversy over the past couple hundred years. However, most people who make assumptions about forced marriage do not know all the arranged marriage facts and information to make a good judgment. Here are some informative facts about arranged marriages that you may not be aware of.
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#1. What is a Traditional Arranged Marriage?
While traditional arranged marriage has declined significantly over the last decade, it is still a fairly common practice in many Middle Eastern, Asian, and African countries. Around 90 percent of all marriages that have taken place in these areas over the years have been forced arrangements, and even though that number has decreased, there is still a very large percentage of marriages that are arranged. Nevertheless, there are a few things to consider concerning traditional arranged marriages.
- Historically the term “arranged marriage” has been used to differentiate the relationships where the parents or older family members have a significant role in selecting the companion for their children.
- Typically, the purpose for this stems from wanting to remain religiously pure, as often it is considered wrong to remain unmarried by certain religious standards.
- In history, sometimes arranged marriages were meant for maintaining family stature or staying with a particular caste or class system.
- Usually, if the daughter or son refutes the decision, the parents would likely respect them and find someone else.
- Generally, the motivation for this type of marriage is that the parents know best about companionship matters. They want to make sure their children will be happy in a successful marriage.
- Often, the children will not refuse the suitor that their parents choose because they truly respect the parent’s opinion.
- Parents are usually the main deciding force, but other family members such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles can also play a role.
#2. Is a Forced Marriage Different?
Arranged marriage in and of itself is a little more of a lax view than the strict opinion that most views arranged marriages with. Forced marriages, on the other hand, are a completely different game. In this circumstance, the son or daughter may be forced into marriage with someone despite their opinion. In this circumstance, the son or daughter may be forced into marriage with someone despite their opinion.
- This circumstance is a lot stricter and typically lines up more with the Western view of arranged marriages.
- This view is rarer nowadays, though it still exists with some families in more extreme parts of the Eastern world.
- In this case, if a child refuses to be married by force, a lot of consequences may take place:
- The child will endure the punishment of some kind.
- The parents may disown their children and kick them out of the home.
- Sometimes the refusal is blatantly ignored, and the marriage takes place anyway despite the opposition
- In rare cases, Who could kill the child.
#3. Many Factors Are Considered
Many different factors can play a role in how a spouse is decided. It is not simply a flippant or random choice, but rather there is a lot of thought and intent that goes into the deciding process.
- First and foremost, the parents want their children to be happy and try to choose a spouse they feel will be compatible with their son or daughter.
- The overall reputation of the spouse’s family can play a role.
- The amount of income or wealth that a family has may also play a part because the parents may want their child to be taken care of.
- The vocation and prestige of the spouse may also play a role.
- Who will also consider a person’s appearance with a great emphasis on height, weight, and coloring?
- The next thing that Who will look at will be the overall values and morals of the individual. Their religious standpoint and whether or not they have a traditional or more liberal opinion about things.
- Interestingly enough, horoscope compatibility was also a factor in various areas depending on the religion.
- The last thing that Who would consider is a person’s medical record. Parents were concerned about their lineage and did not want their child procreating with someone who had a hereditary medical condition of any kind.
#4. The Age May Vary
One of the greater controversies lies with forced child marriage. In the case of early marriage, this could mean any age under eighteen. However, historically, children of any age could be married off to their prospective spouses, and the age difference did not matter.
This is much rarer nowadays and is mostly considered a danger to children. Although some places still implement child marriage, it is illegal in most instances. Most arranged marriages take place between people in their twenties now.
#5. There are Modern Arranged Marriages
According to IML, there is such a thing as a more modern approach to arranged marriages. However, there are quite a few differences between this form and the traditional arranged marriages.
- The main difference comes from the fact that the bride and groom have a lot more say in who they marry. They are more likely to be able to choose their mate.
- It is sometimes thought of as a type of dating service.
- Often the family will choose a handful of candidates for their child, and they will be allowed to go on an unsupervised date with them to decide who to marry.
- Sometimes they opt for a traditional arranged marriage but implement a courtship. In this instance, they will have the opportunity to get to know each other via calls or emails before deciding if they are right for one another.
- Some of the most relaxed versions of arranged marriage are not arranged. In this case, the parents may introduce their children and then leave the relationship up to them and their decision.
#6. The Process of Arranged Marriage
A specific process has to take place in the event of an arranged marriage happening.
- The first step is the parent’s making it known to their children that they are seeking a spouse. This begins to spread around their community or home area so that other parents of prospective children will be aware of who is on the market.
- Step two is when a person is proposed as a potential spouse for the child in question.
- The two families will exchange information outlining their bio and information that is important to making the decision.
- Sometimes a picture is also included.
- If the data is approved as a potential spouse, the boy’s family will formally propose to the girl’s family.
- During the third stage, the families will usually meet without the prospective spouses present.
- During the final stage, the couple may finally meet. In the case of a modern arranged marriage, they can get to know each other and decide whether or not they wish to marry.
#7. The Difference in a Traditional Western Marriage and an Arranged Marriage
There are quite a few differences in the standpoint of traditional Westernized marriages compared to Eastern arranged marriages. They are essentially different in every way. There are many arguments over which one is better and produces a more lasting marriage.
- In traditional marriage, attraction to your spouse is considered one of the main factors in deciding to marry or not. In arranged marriages, the process is more analytical, basing the decision on the bigger picture of success.
- Arranged marriages typically come from the mindset that young people do not have intelligent enough opinions to make the right decision regarding marriage that will work out and instead get too caught up in hormonal infatuation.
- In a Western world where individual choice is highly praised, the arranged form of marriage is highly frowned upon.
- In general, one of the differentiating factors is the different culture’s views on the idea of love.
- In general, Westerners believe that being in love is the main thing that will determine if a relationship can work or not.
- However, arranged marriage participants tend to feel that love will grow as the relationship does.
- From an Eastern perspective, love is a fleeting feeling of emotion. Relationships should not be based upon those things but rather on what benefit you both will be getting from the relationship.
#8. Everyone’s Opinion Differs
All over the globe, there is debate about forced marriage. There are numerous stories about forced marriages published throughout the years, including numerous stories of the benefits and disadvantages of an arranged marriage. In the end, the dividing line is almost equal on each side.
In one woman’s story, Tania Malik’s recounting of her marriage plan, She reflects on her initial anxiety and her subsequent heart shift. “We’ve faced real difficulties, but with moments of great joy. One sure sign of a well-thought-out decision is that I’d like to take it again. I’d gone from not knowing the direction to yes. I went from awe to being a lover.”
On the other side, there are a lot of males and females who have been told negative versions of their experiences. An example is the tale of a 14-year-old bride Manjali Bhagwandas who was severely mistreated in her marriage. She writes, “Before marriage, everyone was really nice and sweet. After wedding, who you really are is revealed. I can’t leave the house since it would be a slap to my family.”
The reality is the number of results of marriages arranged that are both positive and negative that it can be difficult to decide which is the most effective one. Do the advantages outweigh those of the negatives, or are negatives worth the risk?
There are numerous opinions and views on arranged marriages all over the world. There are many benefits and several drawbacks to a forced or arranged marriage. It is the person’s responsibility to conduct their investigation on articles about arranged marriages and make their judgments on the subject. This topic will always cause controversy, regardless of the length of time it’s debated, and it is vital to be aware of it.